Punching Walls Won’t Fix Your Life

Hi friend,

I heard something this week that stuck with me:

"Protect your values. Protect your principles. Not your ego."

At first, it just sounded like a solid piece of advice. But the more I sat with it, the more it resonated on a deeper level. Because for most of my life, I didn’t grow up with examples of what that looked like.

I grew up in an Asian household where the first response to anything—whether something was said wrong, done wrong, or simply didn’t meet expectations—was yelling. Reacting was the default. No pause, no reflection. Just an immediate emotional explosion.

For a long time, that was me too. I struggled with my temper. I punched walls. I broke my right hand. Twice. I had no real way to express emotions other than through anger, and I didn’t know how to control it. I wasn’t shown how.

So when I came across this video of a guy talking about it, it hit me. He was saying:

"Don’t overreact. Don’t yell. Don’t give in to impulses. Stay calm. Think before you act. Protect your values, not your ego."

And what got me was the word protect.

Because when you protect something, it means it belongs to you. It’s yours to either guard or give away. And at any moment, you have the choice to either protect your values or let your emotions take over.

The reality is, life will test you. Your patience, your devotion, your ability to stay committed—all of it will be tested.

It might be something big, like someone disrespecting you, and you want to respond back with angression. Or it might be something small, like having a long, exhausting day and feeling like the last thing you want to do is stick to your habits—go to the gym, cook a real meal, or show up for yourself in the way you promised.

And in those moments, you have a choice:

Protect your values—stay aligned with who you say you want to be.

Or protect your ego—react, lash out, indulge the easy option, and justify it after.

It's easy to let emotions dictate your decisions. It’s easy to say, “Fuck it, I deserve to just do whatever I feel like in this moment.” But nothing changes if nothing changes.

So ask yourself:

What are your values?

Who do you want to show up as?

Are you only living by them when things are easy, or do you stand by them when things get tough?

Because that’s the real test. And when you make the conscious choice to protect your values, not your ego, you’re reinforcing the identity of the person you actually want to be.

And that’s worth protecting.

Until next time,

Much love,

Calvin

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P.S - Protect your sleep. I did a piss poor job at that this week. We'll do better this week.