I write about stuff I find interesting—fitness, nutrition, mindset, and lessons from smart people. It's free, so subscribe if you're into that.
Why does change feel like self-punishment?
|
Hi friend, You ever notice this? Sometimes when you're trying to take care of yourself or break a bad pattern, it feels like self-punishment. How strange that is. You’d think that choosing something better would feel good, right? But instead, it can feel like loss. Why? Because even if a behavior isn’t serving the version of you you want to be, it’s familiar. Comfortable. You know what to expect. Sure, you’ve thought about breaking the pattern. But actually doing it means stepping into uncertainty. And your mind doesn’t like uncertainty. That’s why choosing the better path can feel like punishment...even when it’s not. This is where courage comes in. Most people think courage looks like the movies, big, dramatic, bold. Like the person knows exactly what they’re doing. Like they’re infused with unstoppable belief and clarity. But in reality? Courage is quiet. Anticlimactic. You expect it to feel like a breakthrough, instead, it feels flat. Like you’re a kid, and a decision was made for you. And you want to rebel. But you don’t. And you have to make peace with that. This is what growth looks like. Recognizing the pattern you’re in. Pausing. Choosing. Intentionally, to do something different. Rarely does it feel like a cinematic moment where life changes forever. Most of the time, it feels empty. Just hard. Awkward. The noise is still there, you’re just choosing not to act on it. And hoping the volume turns down soon. Sometimes it even feels like you’re making things worse, because comfort is being stripped away, and your system resists the shift. But that small choice, that tiny turn of the wheel? That’s what changes your trajectory. Not today. Not tomorrow. But if you zoom out, weeks or months from now, you’ll be somewhere entirely new. That’s courage. Just choosing. Again and again, despite the discomfort. If you're in that space right now, and it feels anticlimactic, it's okay. This is what change feels like. Keep turning the wheel. Be brave. Until next time, Much love, Calvin Share this article with your friends here. P.S - Just booked some trips for the later half of the year. Let me be your bad influence. Book that plane ticket. Follow me on social: |
Letters
I write about stuff I find interesting—fitness, nutrition, mindset, and lessons from smart people. It's free, so subscribe if you're into that.
Hi friend I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve been avoiding lately. There’s a difference between doing hard things and doing the hard thing that actually changes you. For a long time, I’ve prided myself on doing hard things. Showing up. Training. Running. Pushing my body. I’ve told myself, “You did it again. You showed up for that 8-year-old version of you. You made him proud.” And that means something to me. But I’ve realized recently I’m not always being honest with myself. I’ve been...
Hi friend, I ran my first marathon last weekend.No race bib. No medal. No crowd.Just me, running loops around an apartment complex, past local businesses, and along a river trail.5 hours. 31 minutes. 16 seconds. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t flashy.But it meant something. Not just because of the distance.But because I did it. The longest I’d ever run before this was 18 miles, just two weeks prior.Less than two years ago, I’d never run more than a single mile at a time.And I’ve had three surgeries...
Hi Reader, We don’t spend enough time bored anymore. Not real boredom, the kind where you’re just sitting with your own thoughts. No phone. No background noise. No quick dopamine hits from scrolling. Just you, your thoughts, and maybe a little discomfort. But here’s the thing: there’s value in that discomfort. In those in-between moments. The ones where you’re not being fed another video, another notification, another metric. Because when we never give ourselves that space, we start to lose...