​

Hi friend,

If someone asked me how to change, how to build a new habit, how to stop sabotaging themselves, how to reach a new level in life, my first answer would be simple. Burn it down.

Burn it all down.

Burn down everything you once believed about yourself. Burn down the ceilings you put above your own head. Burn down the stories you inherited. Burn down the frameworks, the labels, the old narratives that keep you stuck in the same loop.

Burn the house you have been living in.

Because your house is your mind. It is your environment. It is the space you reside in every single day. And if that house was handed to you, if it was inherited from parents or teachers or culture or past versions of yourself, maybe you never even built it in the first place.

Maybe you were told to be grateful for it. Maybe you were told this is all you get. So you patched the cracks, you painted over the mold, you negotiated with yourself that this was good enough. But deep down you know it is not.

That is why people try to change and keep looping back. That is why they build habits and then sabotage them. The house itself is not set up for who you want to become.

So burn it down.

Clear the rubble. Stand in the ashes. And then rebuild.

Rebuild from the ground up. Build new walls with beliefs that actually belong to you. Paint those walls with the actions and routines that reinforce the person you want to be.

Choose the soundtrack that plays in the background of your life. Choose the furniture you let into your space, the thoughts you keep, the content you consume, the people you allow close.

Reinforce your doors and your windows. Notice what you allow in and what you refuse. Do not leave your house wide open for every distraction, every toxic voice, every cheap dopamine hit to just walk in and take up space. Protect your attention like you protect your locks at night.

Pay attention to when the alarms go off. They are signals that something is not right. When something shows up that does not belong, investigate it. Understand it. Clear out the rats, the uninvited guests, the mold that starts to grow. Protect your peace.

Finally, clean your house. Declutter. Do the weekly reset where you process the unfinished thoughts, the emotional clutter, the mental junk piling in the corners. Sweep it out. Put things back in order. The same way you would never let your kitchen rot, do not let your mind rot either.

This is what I call the Mental House Model. The thermostat is the climate you set, the emotional state you choose to live in. The furniture and décor are the inputs you allow to take up space. The doors and windows are your awareness and attention, if you leave them wide open and unfiltered, you are inviting in what does not belong.

The walls, the paint, the soundtrack are your identity, your beliefs, and the stories you tell yourself about who you are and who you can be. The alarm systems are your security systems meant to alert you when something is off. The cleaning is your daily and weekly practice that keeps the clutter from piling up.

You are not a tenant. You are the architect, the builder, and the owner.

So if the house you live in does not feel like yours, stop paying rent to old narratives. Stop trying to renovate rotten wood. Burn it down. Build new. Build better. Build stronger. Build a house you actually want to live in.

And when you do, you will stop sabotaging yourself. Because you will not be fighting against your own environment anymore. You will be living inside a structure that protects you, supports you, and reflects who you are becoming.

So ask yourself today. Whose house are you living in. And if it is not yours, when will you burn it down and rebuild?

Until next time,

Much love,

Calvin

Share this article with your friends here.

P.S - I'm turning in my final assignment for my very first PhD class today. LFG.

​

Follow me on social:

​​​​​​