My Brain Is Basically a Minivan Full of A-holes

Hi friend,

Most days, I feel like I’m driving a minivan full of doubt. Not a sedan. Not a two-seater. A full-blown minivan of voices, all shouting their opinions on why I’m not enough, why I’m going to fail, why nothing I do will work.

It’s loud. It’s relentless.

But here’s the thing: I’m still the one driving.

And I’ve had to learn that while I can’t always kick those voices out, I can choose to turn the volume down. I can remind myself that I’m in control. I can decide that their words aren’t the ones I’m going to listen to.

But that’s not easy. Not when those voices have been riding passenger for years.

Because self-doubt? That’s been a part of my story for as long as I can remember. It’s been stitched into my code. And maybe you know what that feels like too—to carry something for so long that it feels like an unchangeable part of who you are.

But here’s what I know now: it's not forever.

It might have shaped my past, but it doesn’t get to write my future. I do.

And the way I see it, if we want to move forward—if we want to keep showing up, pushing through, and making things happen—we need three things.

1. Psychological Stability: The Root System

There’s a difference between being stable and being stagnant. Stability isn’t about standing still—it’s about being rooted deep enough that you don’t get knocked over by the first gust of wind.

For me, that means anchoring myself into something deeper than just goals or outcomes. Because let’s be honest—motivation fades. Success is inconsistent. But values? Values are immoveable.

The deeper I’m rooted in what actually matters—who I am, what I stand for, and the mission I refuse to abandon—the less fragile I become.

I might sway. I might take hits. But I won’t break.

2. Psychological Strength: Showing Up Anyway

Psychological strength isn’t about feeling strong. It’s about standing tall with whatever you got, even when you don’t feel like it.

It’s about waking up on the days when everything in you is screaming to quit—and showing up anyway.

I won’t lie—some days, I don’t believe in myself at all. Some days, I can’t even see the bigger picture. But strength isn’t about always believing. It’s about proving to yourself—again and again—that you’ll show up regardless.

Strength is built in the doing.

3. Psychological Agility: Reframe, Pivot, Adapt

Look, things will go wrong. There’s even a law for it (Murphy’s, I think?).

Life doesn’t care about our plans. It will throw unexpected stress, setbacks, and chaos at us. And the ones who keep going? They’re not the ones who never face obstacles. They’re the ones who adapt the fastest.

Agility is about how quickly you can shift perspectives. How fast you can take a hit, reframe the situation, and keep moving. If you can do that—if you can step outside your emotions and get back to problem-solving mode—you’ll always have an edge.

Putting It All Together - The Three Legs of Psychological Durability

Stability. Strength. Agility.

Three legs of the same stool. Lose one, and everything tips over.

If we can practice these—really refine our ability to tap into them when we need them most—we give ourselves a shot.

Because life isn’t about avoiding hard things. It’s about being ready for them.

And when the next hit comes—whether it’s from the outside or from inside your own head—you’ll be ready.

Never stop showing up for yourself.

Until next time,

Much love,

Calvin

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P.S - Brave New World was a good watch. My personal movie hack? I keep my expectation bar nice and low, so I pretty much always enjoy the movie… unless it’s so bad it trips over the bar. Then, I got nothing and I get sad.