I write about the things I can’t stop thinking about, human behavior, psychological theories, and lessons from smart people. If you’re into that, it’s free to subscribe.
When it feels safer to self-sabotage than to actually change
|
Hi friend, This week’s podcast is titled: "How to bridge the gap between who you are now and who you want to be." That’s the theme of it. But honestly, after I hit publish, more came to me. More started stirring that didn’t make it into the episode, but it made its way here. Lately, I’ve been scared. Not afraid of failing. But scared of trusting the process. Scared of uncertainty. Scared of stepping into a version of me that I’ve never been before. It’s been hard to hold the vision of who I say I want to become. I’ve felt myself slipping back into old habits, not because they work, but because they’re familiar. Known. Easy. And stepping into that future version of me? I’ve felt this disconnect between what I say I want and what I’m actually doing. I say I value certain things, but I’m not living in alignment with them. And I know that gap is on me. I haven’t been giving myself the best fighting chance. I’ve said I want change. I’ve said I want to evolve. But I haven’t been building the foundation to make that possible. And so I wonder, is the goal wrong? Or am I just not giving myself the leverage I need to even stand on something solid? Like Archimedes said, "give me a place to stand and I’ll move the world." But I haven’t been giving myself a place to stand. I’ve been standing in quicksand, hoping for traction. And maybe it’s not that I don’t know what I want. Maybe I do. Maybe I’m just scared. Maybe I’m not sure I’m worthy of it yet. Maybe I’ve just gotten too comfortable with self-sabotage because it gives me quick relief. Even if it costs me more later. This is what I’m reminding myself of right now: Becoming someone new feels chaotic. It just means you're stepping into a version of yourself you've never been before. So no, the vision isn’t too big. So, let's go move the world. Until next time, Much love, Calvin Share this article with your friends here. P.S - If you didn't know that you can eat the skin of a kiwi, well, now you do. Follow me on social: |
Letters
I write about the things I can’t stop thinking about, human behavior, psychological theories, and lessons from smart people. If you’re into that, it’s free to subscribe.
Episode 113: How to build a 2-3x/week full body workout program (Tap the image to listen) Hi friend, There’s a voice in your head that tells you I can’t do this. That says I’m not this person. I don’t believe in myself. That voice gets louder the more you let it sit in the driver’s seat. The more weight you give it, the more it becomes the default program running in the background of your mind. But here’s the truth: not every thought you have is real. Not every thought is true. And you don’t...
Hi friend, There is a part of your brain most people have never even heard of, but it might be the most important piece when it comes to willpower, resilience, and actually doing the things you keep saying you want to do. It is called the anterior mid cingulate cortex, or the AMCC. I think it's so cool because it gives us a physical anchor for something most people only talk about in motivational clichés. It is basically the spot in your brain that lights up when you are in the middle of...
Made you look...now you have to tap this image and listen to the podcast. Hi friend, If someone asked me how to change, how to build a new habit, how to stop sabotaging themselves, how to reach a new level in life, my first answer would be simple. Burn it down. Burn it all down. Burn down everything you once believed about yourself. Burn down the ceilings you put above your own head. Burn down the stories you inherited. Burn down the frameworks, the labels, the old narratives that keep you...