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Did you choose your values or did someone choose them for you?
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Hi friend, If you have never sat down and chosen your values, chances are you are living by someone else’s. That means the way you make decisions, the boundaries you set or do not set, even the direction you are headed in life could all be based on a script you did not write. Maybe those values were handed to you by your parents. Maybe they came from your culture, your friend group, your workplace, your coach, your church, your old self. You never really questioned them. You just accepted them because that is how it has always been. It is not always bad to inherit a value. But you have to ask yourself: is this the value I actually want? Is this the value I want to want? Because if you are running on borrowed values, they might not hold when you're challenged. They might sound good, look good on paper, maybe even feel trendy, but if they are shallow, they will not anchor you. They will crack when the pressure comes. Your values are your roots. The deeper they go, the stronger you stand. The more you water them, the more they can weather storms. But if they are weak, you are going to keep getting knocked over, starting over, feeling like you are tripping over your own feet every time you try to change. This is why so many people get stuck. They try to build new habits or chase big goals, but it is all happening on unstable ground. If you do not know what you believe in, you will not know where to plant your feet, and you will not remember where your line in the sand is. Your values act like your operating system. They decide what you accept, what you reject, what gets your time, and what does not. Without them, you drift. With them, you can filter every choice through something solid. You do not get to keep the old you and have the new you. You cannot be greedy like that. If you want to change, it will costs you the old version of yourself. So here is what I want you to do today. Sit down. Write out the three to five values you actually want to live by, not the ones you have been carrying because someone else said you should. Choose the ones that matter to you, that emotionally charge you, the ones you would defend even if it cost you something. Because the moment you choose them, you start standing on ground that is yours. And that is when change starts to stick. Until next time, Much love, Calvin Share this article with your friends here. P.S - Big week ahead. Pray for me. Follow me on social: |
Letters
I write about the things I can’t stop thinking about, human behavior, psychological theories, and lessons from smart people. If you’re into that, it’s free to subscribe.
Episode 113: How to build a 2-3x/week full body workout program (Tap the image to listen) Hi friend, There’s a voice in your head that tells you I can’t do this. That says I’m not this person. I don’t believe in myself. That voice gets louder the more you let it sit in the driver’s seat. The more weight you give it, the more it becomes the default program running in the background of your mind. But here’s the truth: not every thought you have is real. Not every thought is true. And you don’t...
Hi friend, There is a part of your brain most people have never even heard of, but it might be the most important piece when it comes to willpower, resilience, and actually doing the things you keep saying you want to do. It is called the anterior mid cingulate cortex, or the AMCC. I think it's so cool because it gives us a physical anchor for something most people only talk about in motivational clichés. It is basically the spot in your brain that lights up when you are in the middle of...
Made you look...now you have to tap this image and listen to the podcast. Hi friend, If someone asked me how to change, how to build a new habit, how to stop sabotaging themselves, how to reach a new level in life, my first answer would be simple. Burn it down. Burn it all down. Burn down everything you once believed about yourself. Burn down the ceilings you put above your own head. Burn down the stories you inherited. Burn down the frameworks, the labels, the old narratives that keep you...