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Alchemize This
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Hi friend, I applied to a PhD program. I got rejected. Yesterday, I pulled up the website and saw the words: We regret to inform you... The second my eyes locked onto regret, I didn’t need to read the rest. I already knew how the sentence ended. How everything else would unfold. And for a moment, I was stuck between emotions—processing, absorbing, feeling. Yesterday was a day. But I’m not writing this to wallow in it. I’m not looking for advice. I want to share something. Because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this. I know I’m not the only one who’s faced rejection, watched a door close, and thought: I know I’m not the only one who built a version of myself around something I wanted—who mapped out steps, made plans, envisioned the future. Only to have it slip through my fingers. Maybe for you, it wasn’t a PhD program. Maybe it was applying to college. Grad school. A new job. Maybe it was shooting your shot with a friend, a partner. Maybe you put yourself out there. You took action. You invested. And the return wasn’t what you expected. It’s easy to get lost in this moment. To let it consume you. To be overwhelmed by the weight of it. The sheer viscerality of it. To not even know what you’re feeling—only that it’s loud. But this? This is redirection. We can never connect the dots looking forward. In the moment, everything feels random, chaotic, unfair. The uncertainty is foreign, uninvited. But later, looking back, the path reveals itself. The dots connect. So if you’re feeling what I’m feeling—make space for it. Mourn it. You deserve that. But don’t let yourself sink too deep. Because your story isn’t over. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be. Maybe this pursuit was necessary—not for this moment, but for everything still ahead. Maybe this isn’t the culmination—just part of the path. Maybe this weight you’re feeling? This fire? This raw, unfiltered energy? It’s meant to be metabolized. Transformed. Alchemized. So don’t let this suffering be for nothing. Don’t let this moment own you. Use it. Be a conduit. Honor the pursuit, the path, everything you’ve learned. And then decide: Pull up your socks. Lace your boots. Pick up your sword. The adventure continues. And now? Now you’re more skilled. More experienced. Stronger. More durable. More prepared. This was not for nothing. Alchemize it. Because there is more to come. Until next time, Much love, Calvin Share this article with your friends here. What else am I working on? Follow me on social: |
Letters
I write about stuff I find interesting—fitness, nutrition, mindset, and lessons from smart people. It's free, so subscribe if you're into that.
Hi friend, You ever feel like motivation is this on-off switch? Like you either have it or you don’t, and if you don’t, well… what now? You just sit around waiting for it to show up? That’s the problem. We’ve been taught to believe that motivation is the prerequisite for action—like you need to feel motivated before you can start. But the reality? Motivation isn’t what gets you going. Momentum is. Clock it: Momentum over motivation. Because momentum nullifies that black-and-white thinking. It...
Hi friend, Wanted to share something with you. A few months ago, I put together a nutrition calculator to help you quickly estimate your caloric needs, macronutrients, and fiber—all in just a few clicks. I’m working on building out a library of lead magnets (business stuff), and since this tool is already pretty useful but missing a bit more helpful substance, here’s a preview of the guide I’m putting together to go along with it. The calculator isn't perfect, but it does give you a pretty...
Hi friend, I heard something this week that stuck with me: "Protect your values. Protect your principles. Not your ego." At first, it just sounded like a solid piece of advice. But the more I sat with it, the more it resonated on a deeper level. Because for most of my life, I didn’t grow up with examples of what that looked like. I grew up in an Asian household where the first response to anything—whether something was said wrong, done wrong, or simply didn’t meet expectations—was yelling....